Enjoying the weather

Over the weekend the kids were desperate to take their umbrellas outside into the slushy snow.  OK WHY NOT!  So while the cars were sliding all around in Bountiful (you know what video clip I'm talking about don't you!) we barely got a dusting of snow over here. 

Carter kept saying he wanted to climb the tree, and I said, "It's going to be too slippery and wet to climb, buddy" but he proved me wrong.

Also on Saturday I went to lunch with Malissa and Stacy, remember those who befriended me while I was giving myself a pity party 6 years ago when I moved into the ward?  It's so fun when we get together.  I love you guys!  sniff sniff

THEN on Sunday my family celebrated my Grandpa-who-is-not-really-my-grandpa-but-we-adopted-into-our-family Woodland's 88th birthday!  I have mentioned him before, he lived on the street my family moved on back when I was 4 years old (and they still live there).  He and his wife could never have children and he quickly became our grandpa.  He sealed Nate and I in the temple.  I love him!!!!  And I tell you for 88 he is doing AMAZING!  We had fun listening to his war stories.  It's like an episode of "24" okay maybe not quite.

Fun with tongs.

I had fun with Logan and Kaitlyn this morning while Jenna was at school and Carter was at preschool.  Logan said he wanted to go outside and he wasn't kidding.  He found a jacket and Jenna's knee high shiny black boots and he was out the door.  Kaitlyn was right behind him with no coat and no shoes.  So I grabbed what I could find and threw them on Kaitlyn, thus her awesome fashion statement.  They were so cute to watch.  Logan and Kaitlyn are so cute together lately, playing and chasing and giggling.






Hi I'm Logan and I love to eat snow and my mommy just lets me.

Mmmmmm

Of course she uses the non-gloved hand.

Annnd delayed reaction again... yes touching snow without gloves hurts!

Oh man tonight I had so much fun with this girl.  I would say, "IIIIIIII'm gonna get you!!!"  and instead of running away she squeals and runs right into my arms.  Then she runs across the room and waits for me to say it again.  Mmm I love it.  Then I was trying to change her diaper and she takes off, completely naked, and the kids think it is hysterical and chase her down while she giggles and giggles. 

It is these moments that I absolutely cherish.

Piggie tails and other pictures of the day

After getting out of the tub tonight we had fun laughing at Crazy Hair:

I also had fun seeing if I could fit Kaitlyn's hair into piggie tails.  There is nothing cuter than little tiny piggie tails!!!!!

Looking at herself in the mirror.

She loves loves loves Jenna.  Tonight she wanted nothing to do with me... she was all about Jenna.

A piggie back ride for the piggie tailed girl.

More piggie back rides from a couple days ago.  It is so stinkin cute! 

A couple days ago Jenna asked me to teach her piano.  I taught her finger numbers and C position and she played a couple songs.  She was so proud!!! 

She's still pretty young, I don't think I started piano until I was 7, but if she wants to learn a little bit then by all means!  I had to take a picture of her perfect little curved fingers...  One of the hardest habits to break when I teach kids is not to play with flat fingers so to do that without me telling her is kinda impressive.  Yes I am biased!  ha ha. 

Carter had to learn some too.

Look Kaitlyn is reading music too!

Carter and Tucker at Krispy Kreme for preschool.  I seriously love donuts, and plain glazed is my favorite.  I am pretty sure I ate 6 that day.

The kids LOVE playing hide and seek, especially with daddy.  He took a picture of Jenna hiding in the dirty laundry.  :)

A couple weeks ago the kids discovered this fun activity.

They did it over and over and over!  Then someone got hurt and that was the end of that.  And yes.  Carter is wearing a dress... for like 4 days he and Jenna pretended he was her sister.  As soon as he got home from preschool or anywhere he'd put a dress on.  Jenna called him "sis" and they would play princesses or something.  When my mom was tending the kids I guess Carter kept telling her he wanted to go home and put on a dress.  I was starting to get worried!!  Luckily, that seems to have passed...

Now we just need to worry about this guy.

Hee hee :)

Why yes they are all mine, thank you!

I learned a little lesson the other day.

We were headed to the doctor on Friday, the big appointment where he was gonna look for the gender! Nate wanted to come and I thought about not taking the kids but that would mean I’d have to find a babysitter and besides I thought it might be kinda fun to have the whole family there finding out together!

Well as we were unloading everyone from the car I happened to mention to Nate that I was worried about who was going to be in the waiting room observing us.  I was sorta worried other people might think, like, SHEESH she cannot be here because she is pregnant again, REALLY??  I also admit that I MADE SURE to have them all dressed in cute clothes with their hair done so I would look like a completely put together mom who has it alllllll under control, not a haggard woman on welfare with wild orphan looking children there to be educated on birth control or something.  C'mon it's no secret people with lots of kids are often times judged.

So after relating this offhand thought to Nate in the parking lot, he looks a little bewildered and tells me, “Really?  You're worried about the people in the waiting room?  Erika, that is just stupid! Who cares? You’re acting embarrassed or something about our little family and I LOVE our family, I am proud of our family!”

Oh, wow. Immediately I felt terrible for thinking like that, for ever thinking like that. He was totally right… am I ashamed of my family? Of my Jenna, my Carter, my Logan, my Kaitlyn? Of being pregnant with another awesome spirit from heaven? No!!!  Of course not!!! Every night when I offer a tired prayer to my Father in Heaven the first thing I thank him for are those 4 kiddos & I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I think of how incredibly special they are. I say to myself, I am so lucky. I thank Him that not only do I get to be a mom, but their mom. UGH and yet I got caught up in what people think, again!!!

Having Carter 13 months after Jenna was definitely not intentional. But it turned out perfect, not a big deal at all, and in fact, set the ball rolling in having all our kids close. And maybe “technically” only every other baby has been “planned,” but honestly that is really just not true. All of our kids were planned, from the very beginning. If you asked Nate and I when we were engaged how many kids we wanted, guess what we would have said? At least 4 or 5. So you see? Every single one of my babies has been planned. :) 

So as I walked into the doctor’s office that Friday I made a decision. I know I am going to get bigger and bigger and I know I will find myself out in public, obviously pregnant, with 4 little kids, and I know I will probably get comments. I know because I got comments when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn (is it really so remarkable, really???) SO when I get those comments, I will NOT act sheepish. I will NOT try to rationalize. I will NOT act apologetic, like I am guilty of something. I DO often care too much what people think of me. Too many times I have been quick to say, “Yes they are all close, but it wasn’t planned this way, I am not crazy, ha ha!!” Not that there is anything wrong with saying that, but I know how I feel and like Nate said, we are so happy and proud of our family, and I am gonna SHOW it!  Not to say that I can't laugh at myself or stand back and think HOLY COW look at all those kids! I know more than anyone it’s kinda comical! BUT I own my choices and I embrace it! SO no more stressing over how people view my life, it is my life not theirs, and I have no regrets, not even a little.  And when people ask me if all those kids are mine I am gonna say, “HECK YA! Aren’t I lucky?!!!!” And I am!!! And when people mention how close they are in age I will say, “I know!!! And they are the greatest friends!!!”  And they are!

So back to the waiting room.  As the kids ran back and forth in the waiting room as we waited for AN HOUR!!! (it is never that long, of course it is when we bring all the kids, right!) I found myself getting anxious, but I kept thinking, it is okay. LET GO. I can’t control what people think but I can control how I think.  It was a long wait, especially cause we forgot the diaper bag! but we made it.

They were good as gold in the ultrasound room, so long as Kaitlyn was sitting right by me on the table, and we all watched that ultrasound monitor quietly, waiting. The doctor looked and looked, the baby was moving around so much he had trouble seeing anything. And then the winning shot! Girl! Jenna BEAMED and Carter’s face fell… just for a minute. I love finding out the gender. With that word, the baby suddenly becomes a person, and names start coming to my head, and calling it a “she” not an “it” makes it so real. The doctor gave us a couple pictures and patted each of the kids on the head and told them good-bye and thanks for coming and on my way out he told me I had such a cute family.

And I do.

De-clutter toy room, check!

SO since my last post I feel a little more calm…
Like, pretend this was my brain:

(Photos of the toy room on Saturday morning)
The doorway:

To the right:

To the left:

 
All in all I pretty much wanted to throw up.

 
It was time to sort through EVERYTHING.  But I was motivated.  I realized that with so much stuff everywhere, the kids hardly knew how to clean and hardly knew what to play with.  I mean who wants to play in a room where you cannot even sit down?  Or find anything?!  Yes, time to de-clutter once more.
 
And after HOURS of chucking, grouping things together, wa-LaH!  My brain now!

Mmm anyone see any whining in this picture?

Aren't before and after pictures the best? 
 
Good-bye trash and broken toys:

 
Good-bye toys we don't need,/don't get played with/DI worthy toys.  They are in my van if anyone wants them!

 
 
I had to snap those after pictures FAST, I am like NO PLAYING WITH THE TOYS YET!!!  LET ME ENJOY IT IN IT'S NATURAL STATE!  But it is pretty awesome, less IS more.  The kids are playing in the toy room!  With toys they haven't played with in forever!  And they are cleaning up their messes right away!  I just did this last April, and I know this won't be the last time, but for now I shall enjoy it for a bit.   It really makes me want to go room to room and declutter everything!!! 
 
The kids were very cooperative and understood when I explained we didn't need so many things and we were giving some toys away.  They even would hand me things and tell me, "Mom you can give this away." 

So, yes, cleaning helped my mood quite a bit.  It is quite therapeutic to take out your stress on unsuspecting toys.

I have not flipped out in the last few days.  Trying to be patient, yet definitely not tolerating whining.  Aren't you proud of me!!
 
The whining and fighting levels have gotten SO much better, at least to levels I can handle.  I really do have good kids, I feel lucky a lot of times, but, you know... not perfect!!!!
 
I feel more like myself.
 
It's nice.
Oh, and another thing that lifted my spirits is finding out we are having a GIRL!!!
 
We were totally good either way, but I did really think boy, so Nate wins yet another bet.  We are excited!  No more even teams around here!