What's been goin' on... a whole lot of not much...

What we've been up to lately:

Playing in the snow. AH, SNOW... I must confess it has really helped in curbing my appetite for sand. IT'S TRUE I HAVE BEEN EATING SNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. It's gross and I shouldn't. Except that it's NOT GROSS IT IS AMAZING. Better snow than sand, right? That's what I tell myself. It looked SO good to me that first day it snowed and so I ate some (and trust me it had been years) and ate like a cup of snow a day. I step onto the deck, look both ways, and swipe it. Except now that the snow is melting I am afraid the sand craving will come back. Four more weeks though... I will survive.




Preparing for baby. They're singing "Rock-a-bye baby" and their choreography is spot on. I would love to show you the clip of them actually singing it, because it is THE BEST... but since Jenna very clearly and very mistakenly says the F-word in it, I used my best judgment (and some wise counsel) NOT to post that video... even though I laughed so hard I was in tears...


Taking some disturbing pictures. She was dancing and singing, as girly as you could get a second before. Then she came out of her room and pointed a squirt gun at me making gun noises and scary faces. We have some old He-man cartoons she's been watching... is that where she gets this??? Cause it ain't from the Disney channel!



Celebrating my sister's 16th birthday! Like, when did that happen!


Oh yeah, and getting into mommy's makeup AGAIN. I put it in the back of the drawer, they get it. I put it up on the counter. They get it. I put it up on the dresser. They get it. There is just no safe place.

What a nightmare!

So last night I awoke at 2 a.m. to the sound of Jenna yelling and crying something that I couldn’t make out. I was sure she had to go potty and was just panicking (lately she’s been sleeping all through the night without having to go though--PROGRESS, YES!) Anyway, as I opened her door, suddenly what she was shouting became very clear:

“I WANT MY LUNCH!!!! I WANT MY LUNCH!!!!”

She was hysterical. Like, tears were rolling down her face. Was I hearing right?

I asked, “Jenna, honey, did you say you want your LUNCH?”

She was clearly half-asleep, but she adamantly replied, “Yes!”

I said, “Oh Jenna, you’re having a dream! It’s okay!”

And I stroked her forehead and she calmed down and fell right back to sleep.

So... while I hate seeing my child wake up crying from a nightmare, I’ve got to say it makes me feel a lot better that this is the scariest thing her little mind could come up with. No lunch, huh. Kinda sends shivers down my spine, too...

It was time for a pedicure

Carter is truly a caring little guy. He just KNEW how badly I needed to paint my toenails and I'm sure has observed how difficult it is for me to even put on socks... and so, he stepped up to the challenge. He decided to do it for me.


Here is a better angle.

Honestly, he just came up to me and started painting away. It couldn't have been any cuter. It IS with Jenna's princess nail-polish, the kind that peels right off 10 minutes later, so that is why I am not freaking out about the open bottle near the carpet in the hands of a toddler. I did not forget the nail-polish-toilet incident. Anyway, what I shouldn't tell you is after he painted my toes, he painted his own.

Also, Jenna and Carter's new game is straddling the tub and pretending they are horseback riding. Jenna started it, and Carter caught on quickly. You can't tell but they are both giddy-upping and bouncing up and down.


Perhaps it's lame that I keep taking pictures of myself, I should really get Nate to do it but I never think about it until I'm taking a picture in the bathroom and see my reflection, and I'm like, oh, let's take a pic of how far along I am while I'm in here... don't judge me. BUT I have FIVE WEEKS TO GO!!!!


My sis put curlers in Jenna's hair tonight. This is the before picture.

The after... awww!! Maybe I will actually curl her hair too one day.


AND THEN, today I stayed after church for choir and when I got home, Nate brings Jenna over to me and she says, "Holla holla (apparently a 'street' saying that i have never heard of, but nate insists is real...) E-Dogg is in the house!" I don't know what Nate is teaching our child. I laughed so hard though. Anyway I had to get a clip later, even though she said it better the first time!

OHHHHHH Valentine's Day

To: Nate
Love: Erika

Happy Valentine's Day!

Candy heart "Kiss Me"
Candy heart "Hug Me"
Candy heart "Lover Boy"
Candy heart "Forever"

I was just remembering how in elementary school when we'd make Valentine's Day boxes and get all creative and then pass out Valentines to everyone with candy hearts stuck in the envelopes. And I would read every candy heart that came out of the boys' envelopes and take them LITERALLY. "Oh my gosh, Josh gave me one that said 'Marry Me'!!" Yeah pretty dumb. Hey, all I knew is that I was VERY careful with the ones I put in the boys' valentines. I played it safe with stuff like "Sun shine" and "Cool" unless I REALLY liked them. So I was sure everyone else did it that way... it's kinda funny now, considering their mothers probably threw them in there.

Then junior high hit and Valentine's day became the most depressing day of the year. I mean, whose idea was it to have the school let you have flowers sent to people? I still remember, the last period of the day, anticipating that pile of flowers being delivered to the classroom and HOPING BEYOND HOPE one was for me. It didn't help my friend Bree would get one EVERY YEAR (yes, Bree, I was jealous.) Ah, the bitterness of Valentine's Day. One year my friend Lisa and I even sent a flower to each other anonymously so we could make people think we were loved. (Sorry Lisa I just spilled the beans about our pathetic-ness. It's funny now, right?)

The first rose I ever got besides from my dad (thanks dad) was from... NATE! Yep I was 15 and he dropped one off at my house that Valentine's Day... and then proceeded to give one to two of my other friends, BUT I didn't care cause we were all friends at the time and just that he thought to do that was sweet. Then, my junior year I was walking through the halls after school and there were flowers EVERYWHERE and I was just thinking "THIS is why I hate Valentine's Day!" when there was Nate with a bouquet of yellow roses. See how he was my best guy friend ever??? Then of course, my senior year we were dating, having FINALLY moved on to the romantic phase of our relationship, so needless to say Valentine's Day was the best that year.

And now we have a little family! NATE BABY I LOVE YOU ! ! ! ! Thanks for being my Valentine for NOW and ALWAYS!!!

Making our babies laugh, what he does best.

Lunch-time drama!

So things got quite dramatic this afternoon as I fed the kids lunch. The menu consisted of chicken nuggets, tater tots, and apple slices. Well Jenna ate her nuggets and tots and wanted MORE. Her apple slice sat untouched on her plate, so I told her, okay you can have more, just have a bite of your apple first. So, she did, and I got her more food.

Well, Carter ate all HIS nuggets and tots and HE wanted more TOO! So, I told him the same thing, I said, “Okay, have one bite of your apple and I will give you some more.” And I went and put more on his plate but when I went to give it to him he still hadn’t touched his apple.

I said, “Carter, take a bite of your apple, okay, then I’ll give you your food!”

He said, “No.”

I said, “You just need to take ONE bite and THEN you can have more chicken!”

He said, “NO.”

“CARTER, eat your apple.”

“NOOO!!”

I tried the nice approach, "Carter, honey, please take a bite of your apple."

"UH-UH!"

So I'm thinking, he IS old enough to understand this concept, right? He gets what I’m saying here?

I said, “Do you WANT more food?”

He said, “Yes!”

I said, “Okay, first take a bite of your apple.”

He yelled, “NO!” And he tossed his apple across the room. Okay, at least a couple feet. Yeah I think he understood what I wanted.

And so we were head-to-head. At an impasse. A standoff. It was between ME and HIM. WHO would back down first???? Well NOT ME! I had SAID he had to eat the apple first, and I was not going to give in and show him he gets his way!

And so for the next ten minutes I swear we went back and forth. I just didn’t GET IT, ALL he needed was to take ONE BITE!!!! THEN he could get more chicken nuggets! That’s it! It’s not a big deal!! And I KNOW he likes apples!!! Needless to say, he was getting me all riled up.

But he fought and fought and cried and got upset and I just kept saying “Then EAT YOUR APPLE!!! Cause I would LOVE to give you this food right here!” (I kept pointing to it and he kept lunging for it.)

He threw his apple on the floor again.

FINALLY I’m like, “Okay, then you’re ALL done. No more chicken for you.”

I took him out of his high chair and washed his hands and put his little apple slice on the counter. And then--get this-- he has a fit because... he wants his APPLE BACK. OKAY whatever, I gave it to him. And he carried it around the house for the next little while, not letting go. I took my camera out so I could take a picture of him with his apple clenched in his hand, and he climbed up on a chair. I took a picture.


Then, just for fun I said, "Okay, now eat your apple."

And he said, "Okay." AND THEN HE ATE IT.


ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!

Somehow I get the feeling this wasn't about the apple... but who would you say won??? Me or him? Cause I'm actually not sure on this...

WHAT A STINKER!

Song dedications: the sequel

Okay I did this like a year ago and thought it'd be fun to do again. AND SO... these songs go out to... my little monkeys, I mean kiddies!!!

“At Last” by Etta James. How I feel when I kiss 'em good-night, shut their doors, and collapse on the couch.

“The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra. By the end of the day, like orphans, frankly... oh and me, like I’ve been hit by a truck.

“I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore” by REO Speedwagon. “Jenna do you have to go potty?” “No.” “I think you do.” “No.” “Are you SURE??” Guess who is racing to the bathroom two minutes later.

“Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” by Michael Jackson. It does NOT take half a roll of toilet paper, trust me Jenna.

“Makes me Wonder” by Maroon 5. Carter, you know you can’t open the door once you shut it so WHY do you keep SHUTTING it!!!

"I'm Sensitive" by Jewel. Yathink, I only LOOKED at you!!!!

“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith. For the 20 times a day I say, “No, Carter!” and Jenna says without missing a beat, “WHAT! What’s happening!!”

“It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” by Alan Jackson. But it’s not even naptime yet, here...

“I’m Into Something Good” by Herman’s Hermits. Yeah it’s called MOMMY’S MAKEUP!!!

“Happy Trails” by Roy Rogers. Pathways of destruction... throughout the house... mostly food...

“One by One” by Enya. How pillows, couch cushions, balls, blocks, basically every toy imaginable end up at the bottom of the stairs.

"What Did You Say?" by Norah Jones. I know you're trying, Carter, but could you enunciate a little better, I'm not quite getting it.

“Tell Me Something I Don’t Know” by Selena Gomez. Let me guess. Carter’s bugging you. You want to eat something. You want to watch something. You don’t want to go to bed. Mommy’s belly is getting bigger.

“What’s it Gonna Be” by H Two O. One bite of chicken, or NO dinner at all???

"Always Be My Baby" by Mariah Carey. Cause you grow up WAY TOO FAST.

"You Make Me Laugh" by Christina Milian. Yes, you guys do! Thank goodness!!

Okay that's all I got.

Oh just randomness

Yesterday Jenna came up to me and told me Carter wanted Chinese. I wasn't sure I heard right, so I said, "He wants Chi-NESE?"

She said, "Yeah, his tummy is getting hungry for Chinese."

I just wanted to clarify. "As in Chinese food??"

"Yeah he wants Chinese."

Really, where does she get this stuff?

Then the other day while sitting on the toilet, looking down at the folds in her stomach, she laughs and says, "Mom he is SO happy!"

"Who is?"

"My belly button!! He's smiling at me!"

Oh man she kills me.

That same day, she is on the potty again, this time she is leaning forward and the toilet lid is resting on her back.

She goes, "Look mom, I'm a turtle!"

Pretty clever.

Carter's newest saying is, "I don't want it." I think that is the longest sentence he has spoken so far, but he speaks it very clearly when I try feeding him food in which he doesn't approve.

So this is the outfit Jenna threw together for herself yesterday, and then when I found she had added Carter's hat while walking around chatting on her toy phone, I had to take a picture.


I think Carter wants his hat back.


I told her to give him a hug and I LOVE it! I just wish I could see Carter's face.


Then... today I decided to get in the Valentine's Day spirit and make hearts to put up on the windows. The kids had a lot of fun, just look at Jenna's smile.


Which brings me to the different phases in Jenna's camera-smile. Remember this phase? It lasted a while. I call it THE GLARE.



Then she decided to TRY a little harder. Maybe too hard. I just call it... PSYCHO.




And now, we have what I have previously mentioned, STEVIE WONDER SMILE. Or, I could go with RENEE ZELLWEGER as well, yeah, I like that better.




What do you think?

On a serious note

I really don’t know how this will come across. Hopefully sincere. I just wanted to write how I feel cause this has been on my mind a lot in the last few months.

So when I was little I always pictured getting married and having babies. Of course, I mean, that’s what every little girl pictures, right? Well I got myself a good man and we waited till I finished school before trying to have kids. It didn’t take long at all and we had our little girl. Then, without even trying—I was actually on birth control although I must say I wasn’t very good at taking it but I was nursing too and hadn’t even started my period again—we had our little boy 13 months later. Then when we decided maybe we wanted to try for another one, once again it happened so fast.

We’re about to have 3 kids.

And we did it with hardly any effort at all.

And that is what I don’t get.

I was actually really naïve, especially when I got pregnant with Carter. I KNOW I stuck my foot in my mouth and said some pretty ignorant things. Like feeling all stressed and scared at finding out I’m pregnant when my first wasn’t even 6 months old yet, I know I said things about WOW we didn’t even try at all and what a happy “accident” it was, and GEEZ I must be fertile myrtle…

I’m sure I said these things around someone who was probably desperately trying to have a baby.

Definitely in the past year or so I’ve become more aware of the struggles people have with infertility. I had no idea how common it is or how common miscarriages are. I had no idea how long it takes for so many people to get pregnant or how long and difficult the adoption process is. And I wonder what people must think of me, how they must hate me sometimes because it comes so easily for me. I KNOW it’s not fair, and my heart breaks for these wonderful people who want what I know I’ve wanted since I was 5. And although I do not know what they must go through, and I know I can’t begin to understand what it’s like, my heart does go out to them and my heart breaks for them. And I just wish I could give my fertility to them for awhile. I wish there was something more I could do than just be the pregnant reminder of what they want so badly.

I know God works in mysterious ways. Everyone has a different plan, and everyone has different trials. But this whole fertility issue makes me so sad and frustrated thinking WHY does it have to WORK like this? Why is it so easy for me and impossible for others??? Why are there people like Jamie Lynn Spears (not to name any names…) and other teenage mothers or drug addicts or child-abusers who can get pregnant? Not to mention those that don’t even WANT babies who get abortions as if it’s a switch they can just flip off? I just don’t get it.

But seeing other people’s success with adoption and looking at their beautiful families makes me so grateful for those women who know they want their baby to have a better life and allow some great, great people to have the blessing of a child.

I know I have my own struggles with different things but I just wanted to say I do think of those with fertility problems and I do pray for them.