I got a toilet for Christmas, what'd you get?!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I'm so sad it's over!

But guess what, Nate surprised me with a new camera!

So here's a new message for YOU, OLD CAMERA:

Dear Phil V,
You never showed up. I begged. I pleaded. I yearned. You did NOT listen. Well FINE! I can take a HINT! Who needs YOU, cause guess what Mister, you have been REPLACED by a better, prettier camera. You heard me. I have moved on. Phil VI and I are very happy together. I hope you enjoy your cold and lonely existence, wherever you are.
Not looking back,
Erika

So, seeing as I have a camera now, how is it that I missed the moment where Nate and I opened a gift-wrapped TOILET???

It is beyond me!

YES!!!!! If you recall, Carter flushed some toys in the toilet back in AUGUST. My dad and Nate tore that thing apart, recovering a ball, but they were unable to retrieve the mystery object and thus unclog the toilet. Believe me, they tried everything.

So to get a new toilet is AWESOME!!!! Do you know why??? Yes, we now get to use the main bathroom upstairs, but also because we get to crack open the old toilet and find out what's in there!!! Can you tell I am SO EXCITED!!! Don't you even worry, there is sure to be a blog post on it. How does one bust open a toilet? Not sure, so stay tuned.

THANKS MOM AND DAD FOR THE TOILET!!!!!!

Guess what else I got. A new vacuum! ONE THAT WILL VACUUM!!!!! What a CONCEPT!!!

THANK YOU MIKE AND PAM!!!!

Life is good. The kids had a good Christmas too. Here's what we did.

Grandkid nativity. It was stinking cute.




Waiting to open presents.


Decorating cookies.


This is Carter's cookie.


Must. Have. More. Sprinkles. (gotta love it!)


After a fun day at Nate's parents' we went to mine for yummy rouladen dinner, our traditional German meal. I was so full, but I'm sure I could have fit 8 more of them in me. I wanted to. You should try it.


Nativity with my fam. Baby Jesus/Logan is drinking a bottle. Yep. I decided to try it again. Guess what he likes it now. Bye bye nursing. Bottles are so easy!



My 16-year-old sister has footie jammies that match my kids. Precious!!!


Christmas morning!


Logan's excited!


I just love this angle of that little body.


He loves everyone else's toys more than his own. He is driving Jenna and Carter crazy. He has to get his hands on everything. Good thing he's cute.


Yay for Christmas!

Mommahood

I’ve been like some weird psycho lately, feeling like I just cannot do it all, then I’m happy, then I’m sad, and I'm like, it's Christmas time! I love Christmas time! Then last night we watched the 1985 movie “Santa Claus,” Nate loved it growing up, and I’d never seen it before. I felt like a little kid watching it! That is just how I'd imagined Santa, and when he took off in his sleigh for the first time I totally felt all magical. Jenna loved it and Carter was so tired he fell asleep in my lap. It made everything perfect. I love my kids!

When I had my baby girl, everything made sense. Maternity leave was pure heaven. It was like my heart awakened for the first time. I love being a mom.

Yeah I’ve never gotten as angry in my whole life as I’ve been since Carter hit 2... there are downs for sure, but the ups are so rich and fill my whole being with gratitude that I get to be my children’s mother.

Sometimes I am scared at how much I love my kids because of how much is invested in them, and if they are ever taken away I might whither up and die...

And the best part about being a mom is how they love me, too. They take the good and the bad, and they are so honest, from, “Mom, you are sweaty” to “Mom, you burned the chicken?” they take me as I am. I don’t want them to grow up and see my flaws. Right now momma is their hero. Today Jenna wanted me to sing as all the different princesses. She told me, “Okay now be Ariel” and I’d sing an Ariel song, and when we got to Snow White, Carter actually started to cry, and told me, “No! Just be mom.”

He wants me to just be mom. I can do that.

Nothing like a trip to the dr to make you feel bad

What is it about taking your kids to the doctor that suddenly makes you second guess how you’re doing as a mother?! Suddenly basic questions like, “How much milk does he drink a day?” And “How many wet diapers do you change a day?” and “How many hours does he sleep?” seem so tricky, like I want to give the right answers but I’m not sure what the right answer IS and I’m afraid my answer is going to be cast upon the table for full judgment from the nurses. I’m being dramatic, but I can’t help feeling put on the spot, like I didn’t do my research beforehand, cause who counts anyway? I don't! Sigh.

Today I felt terrible at Logan's 9-month check up because *gasp* NO Logan is NOT clapping OR waving bye-bye! They’re on the “checklist" and I had to say NO and it made me feel bad, is that so dumb. I tell you what I was working with him tonight: “Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Come on baby!” ha ha. Funny. Seriously, I know every child is different and I really am not a freaker-outer mom in the least. But at the same time, I want my child to fit the book so I can answer all the nurse’s questions correctly, and get 100% in Mothering. Yaknow?

Oh yeah, and to make things worse, Logan was in the 90th percentile at 2 months, and NOW guess where he has trickled down to? He gained less than a pound in the last 3 months and is in the 9th percentile. Where did that beautiful chunkiness go, AHHH I have failed to keep him roly-poly. The doctor himself told me he is not worried at all, that this happens with almost every baby; they thin out at a certain age and continue the growth curve from there. It happened with Carter. He was a fat baby. But he didn’t reach his itty-bitty stage until 18 months. Logan’s 9 months now, and I can’t help but get in that Operation FAT mode, I want him to be in that healthy average range. Why do us moms proceed to feel guilty about everything. He eats everything I put in his mouth so what is the deal? This kid is still nursing every 3 hours except at night, cause the stubborn kid won't take a bottle and now I find myself 9 months in, like, wow look at me go, I’ve never nursed a kid who could bite me before. Or who could eat and rock on all fours at the same time, while his huge, I mean, apparently anorexic, body is sprawled across my lap. It’s interesting for sure. But I’ve been pushing the sippy cup for awhile now, getting him ready to make the big switchover as soon as I can. Don’t get me wrong, nursing is precious and all that, I'm quite proud of myself, but I’m just not one who is going to still be nursing when he can ask for it. (Please, no one take offense to that!)

So yeah the doctor today. I took all 3 kids with me, like I’ve done before, and it has gone smoothly every time. Silly me! Today was awful. Crying kids. Logan was having an absolute fit. He has been sick this week, making it hard for me to get anything done around here. Poor sweet boy. Found out it’s roseola virus. So the good news is, today his fever disappeared. And the bad news is now he has a rash all over his body. Oh and the doctor told me he has a bunch of fluid in his ears, and gave me antibiotics. This is the first time any of my kids has had an ear infection, at least one to my knowledge, and the first time any of my kids have needed antibiotics. See? I told you I’m totally not a Germophobe AT ALL and to show for it my kids are some of the healthiest kids I know. I’m going to eat those words later, aren’t i...

I am a rambling FOOL!

I’d have cute Christmas pictures to post, but guess what, MY CAMERA IS MISSING. (jenna's blankie was found in the nursery toy box. yay!)

So pretend this is a cute family picture of us at Christmas Village in Ogden. Yay! We look so warm and happy!

And here is a picture of the cute snowman pancakes I made for dinner tonight, powdered sugared and everything!

And here is a picture of my fireplace mantle, where 2 of my NOEL letters have fallen, so it just spells out “NO.” Yeah. That’s about right.

All right off to do some medical transcription. I’ve done 55 practice reports. Only 745 left to go. Ugh.

It's no secret sports are not my forte!!

So. Uh... Hillary just pointed out to me that I mistakenly put Matt Hall, not MAX Hall in my last post. Wow.

Nate even read it and said NOTHING!

I should feel pretty embarrassed, but doesn't this just prove how far outside the football realm I am? Max Hall has been all over the news, even I can't ignore that, and yet I'm all Matt/Max, same diff!

Sigh. So for all of you who mocked me for it in your head and didn't tell me, THANKS A LOT!

Ahhhh sports, schmorts. Nate and I will never understand each other. Good thing life's NOT ABOUT SPORTS, so it doesn't affect our marriage. :) Much. :)

The other night I was too tired to get off the couch while Nate was watching the Jazz game. He was so happy I was watching the game with him. And he kept saying, "Did you see that?" And I'd be like, "See what?" And he'd say, "How did you not SEE that?! Aren't you LOOKING at the SCREEN?" Yeah I'm looking at the screen, but looking is not the same as seeing!

Anyone know what I'm talking about?

Mostly when I "watch" sports with Nate, I say okay I will try and watch; then that lasts 2 seconds, and so, bored out of my mind, I just start thinking about life and stuff. Then I start random conversations with Nate while he's trying to watch and he looks at me like, must you be so chatty RIGHT NOW? I can't help it! It's kind of like when you're forced to read a book in high school and you've just read 3 pages when you realize, "I have no idea what I just read."

That's how it is when I watch sports!

And that is why, when I try to be funny and make a sports joke, I MESS IT UP!

Stupid Max Hall.

Dear Inanimate Object:

Dear... CAMERA!!!!

WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU???

I am SO MAD AT YOU!!!

Why did you LEAVE ME?

I know I’ve said some horrible things about you. You know what I mean... “Cheap piece of crap” and other phrases come to mind...

I TAKE THEM ALL BACK!!

(although would it kill you to take one clear picture after sundown?)

Okay maybe my kids have gotten to you one too many times. Maybe it’s not your fault.

You thought I didn’t care. But I do. I REALLY DO! I MISS YOU TERRIBLY and I want you BACK!

You've missed some great moments.

I’m going to summon you right now.

Summoning...

You didn’t come.

At least let me know if you are in my very house.

Are you at my parent’s? (that's where I last cradled your little rundown body.)

Are you in the car?

At the side of the road?

Buried in the snow?

In the hands of an angry Ute fan who stumbled upon those pictures of Nate and his friends celebrating after the game, pre-Matt Hall fiasco?

Just whisper it to me.

WHERE ARE YOU?!

Sincerely, Erika

P.S. On your way back, could you pick up Jenna's blankie for me? So what if she's almost 4 and hasn't said a word about it since it went missing 3 weeks ago, I want blankie back.

Comma usage and other news

So, I’m getting behind on all my fellow bloggers' lives cause while I spend hours and hours on the computer each day... sadly, it is not because I am reading blogs. It’s not even facebook! No... I am actually spending hours learning how to be a medical transcriptionist.

Yeah so a couple months ago we lost some necessary income and didn’t know what to do. So this is our glorious solution. I can work from home as an MT. Wahoo!

Turns out it’s a lot harder than I anticipated. Pretty much all I was thinking when I signed up for the online schooling was, “I am great at English, I know how to write, I type really fast, all I need to learn is the medical stuff!”

HA HA HA HA HA!

For all I knew about medical stuff, it's JUST LIKE CHINESE!

Okay, not that bad, but you get the idea.

The schooling is a lot more challenging than I thought. That’s not to say I don’t like it, because actually I do. I love medical stuff. I love putting my brain to work in a school setting again. I'm done with the book work portion, and I'm beginning to learn how to transcribe now, which is fun. But guess what is KILLING. ME. Stinking grammar of all things. I say that because I have been apparently DELUSIONAL all these years thinking that I am GOOD AT ENGLISH (don’t judge me from my blog... trust me, I have always scored highest in English!) YEAH, guess THAT was a figment of my imagination! COMMAS, PEOPLE. Commas are going to be the death of me. Some days they make me want to puke right here on the keyboard. I MEAN, WHO KNEW? I’m beginning to actually have nightmares about them. Seriously. So I go back and review the Grammar module of the course, and guess what, the quizzes I previously scored 100% on I am now getting 70s and 80s, cause I am so screwed up in the head about commas now. DIE COMMA DIE!!!!!!!

(Pay no attention to my poor comma usage in this post.)

Ahem. Anyway. I’m trying to do the schooling as fast as I can, so my brain feels like it’s going to explode most days. Sometimes I'm confident and others I spend doubting myself, wondering if I can really DO this! I worry if I am going to be good at it, I worry about finding a job when I graduate... which is sort of ESSENTIAL. The schooling is online, so I do it anytime I possibly can. The fastest you can do it in, they say, is about 4 months, and that is full-time-- as in like 8 hours a day.

Do you believe that I am glued to the computer now? Do you believe that my house is a disaster most days? Do you believe that I feel like a horrible mother?

I am working so hard, I am very motivated, and I have been in the course for a month and a half, and I’m 33% of the way done. Not bad huh, so what’s wrong? The guilt, my friends. I feel like such a bad mom. I mean, I am doing this so I can be home with my kids. Sure, I need a job asap, but what about my #1 job of all? I'm a mommy first. So balancing the time spent getting the schooling done and time spent with my babies, as well as Nate, is a toughie.

Nate is so encouraging and sweet, and he builds my confidence every day. Cause I am afraid I’m going to fail at this or something. And he tells me not to feel pressured and to take it easy, but I am super motivated to get this done and be good at it. I really do feel like this is an awesome opportunity and I am excited to be an official MT. I’m just venting.

It'll all work out. Won’t it???? It better... Cause I am not relearning the English language for nothing I tell ya. Wish me luck.