The marathon! Torture or therapy?

(Yikes this turned out epic!)

So the marathon, eh?!

Three words: IT WAS HARD!!!!

But you know what I am proud of myself cause I did it. I totally did it!

This is my 6th full marathon and I forget how hard it is every time. Kinda like childbirth. Except in this case I’d say 3 of my labors and deliveries were easier than this.

Four of my marathons were pre-children. Then I ran one “for fun” with my mom and dad in 2009 right after I had Logan. I had only trained up to 13 miles for that one and I felt much better during that one than I did for this one. Granted there was no pressure for that one, but this one for sure felt harder.

So Saturday morning Nate and I woke up at 3:45 a.m. (oh yes did I mention Nate did it too?) and I ate a bowl of Honeycombs (my ideal race food!) and peanut butter toast. I was not as nervous as I thought I’d be. Then we headed up to Ogden to catch the 5 a.m. buses. The bus ride to the start of the race is always nerve wracking for me because it feels like it takes FOREVER and all you think about is how you’re going to be running right back down. Yikes!

So Nate and I get to the start where there are little fire pits everywhere to keep the runners warm and a billion porta-potties. I was like, there is no way we are going to find my mom and her running partner or Nate’s sister Kellie and her husband Ryan, all who were running the race as well. Well what do you know we found them all! Still I wasn’t too nervous, like I wasn’t about to puke or anything.

Then the gun went off. AHHHHH!!!!! But the trick is to trick your mind. You can’t think about the fact that you have 26.2 miles ahead of you. You take it a few miles at a time. Then it’s not so bad. (yeah my mind didn’t really buy it.)

So off we went!!!! I came into the race knowing I didn’t want to stick with anyone. I didn’t want to feel like I had to keep up with someone and I definitely didn’t want to slow anyone down. So basically I told Nate (who hardly trained at all!!!!) he was to fend for himself (I wasn’t worried about him, he is basically a machine it makes me sick.) The other thing: my goal was to do the marathon in under 5 hours. That’s all I wanted. I’ve been a slower runner since having kids, but I thought I could do it.

Well the first few miles flew by. It was a BEAUTIFUL day (hallelujah I was so afraid there’d be another hailstorm like my 2004 experience.) Anyway here is a breakdown of 26.2 miles!

I started off running with my mom and Nate. Then my mom and Ramona went hauling ahead and I left Nate behind around mile 2.

Miles 2-9 I had stupid crappy weird stomach pains that I’ve had off and on throughout training (I cannot pinpoint what it is or what I need to do different!) but whatever I ran through them anyway.

At some point during those first few miles Nate passed me up (he just informed me mile 4 or 5) I was like go Nate, go!

At mile 7 I grabbed a Gu (if you don’t know what Gu is you should try it sometime it’s like trying swallow honey, but hey it works.)

Mile 9 was like my best mile of the race! The golden mile! The stomach pains disappeared, the Gu had really kicked in, and I stuck my ipod in my ears. I actually really enjoy listening to everyone around me, but I decided to try music for this marathon and LOVED IT!!!! I was in my own little world and felt great!!!!!! Well that didn’t last long.

Around mile 11 I caught up with Nate and I also had to go to the bathroom. I made it to the halfway point, mile 13, and jumped in a porta-potty. Oh hey did I mention the night before Aunt Flo surprised me?? I’m like OH WONDERFUL, juuuuuuust PERFECT! Cause it’s the best thing ever to run a marathon on your period (to be frank!!!!)

So mile 13 I meet up with Kellie and her running partner, Jamie, and Nate!! It’s a par-tay!!!!! And this is at the bottom of a huge hill (they say Ogden is a downhill race well I’m here to say do NOT be fooled there is a LOT of flat and a few uphills!!) We lost Nate somewhere along the way and around here Kellie’s like “Do you want a Gu?” and pulls one out of her bra and I proceeded to shove it in my mouth.

Seriously, runners have no shame! I love it! People running off into the bushes to pee, that guy with shorts riding up so high I have to look away, applying runner’s lube to secret places (cause chafing hurts like HECK!!) , stripping off clothing cause you’re so hot (that was not me), or simply passing gas to the wind without a care in the world (once again, NOT me) oh and let’s not forget the porta-potties at the start, it is a runner’s PRIORITY to clean out your system before the race. And everyone understands. I love it.

So after the Gu from Kellie’s bra (thanks Kellie!) I was definitely feeling better and a lot of downhill came and I LOVE downhill… so you’d think I’d be flying down the canyon and loving it… nope I just was not feeling it this race. The whole time I waited for that long stretch of feeling light, on air, just plain giddy… and it never came! This marathon was just all around HARD!

Mile 16 I remember thinking, 10 more miles! 10 more miles!

Mile 18 I was like WHY AM I DOING THIS AGAIN?

Mile 20 I was like Hamstrings, please forgive me!!!!!

Mile 21 is when the 5 hour pacer woman passed me (I wanted to trip her, dangit!) and I tried to keep up with her and just couldn’t and so I kissed THAT dream good-bye. At that point I was like FORGET TIME, FINE, LET’S FINISH THIS THING.

Mile 23, 24, and 25: SHOOT ME, SHOOT ME NOW! It felt like FOREVER. I mean it is at this point that you just have to do that digging that I talk about, digging deep within yourself to make those feet keep going, to keep from just stopping right then and there. I definitely walked a bit the last couple miles, but every time I stopped my muscles would cramp up and I’d be like that ain’t good so I’d try to run again. Kellie also booked it way ahead of me, she was a-freaking-mazing those last couple miles, I mean who does that? Good job, Kellie! No signs of Nate, I hoped he was doing good.

The last mile: I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN! Half marathons , piece of cake, this is just CRAZY!

Then I ran those last 3 or 4 blocks pretty strong for feeling like I want to die and there is the finish!!!! and who is at the finish line waiting for me???? My mom. They even let her put my medal around my neck. It was awesome.

So my time? I shall tell you without shame (okay a little shame… I can’t help it!!) it was 5:11.

My mom did awesome, she did 4:57. This is like her oh 22nd FULL marathon or something, and she is seriously super WOMAN. Anyway I tried to wait around right there for Nate, hoping he was doing okay, but I really could hardly stand! So I walked over to where I saw Kellie and Ryan and tried to stretch my legs and then I look over and there is my hubby just finishing!!!!! His time was 5:23 and I was so proud of him (he thought he might not finish, that’s how unprepared he was) and ran (a miracle in itself) to give him a hug. (by the way these are the shoes he ran in, yes that's a huge hole. time for new shoes hon!)

We did it!

(Our "we are in so much pain!" faces)

We came home to my cute sister chalking up the driveway.

WHEW. I can honestly say that day I was thinking it’d be a LONG LONG TIME before I THINK about doing another full. But now… in the back of my mind… it’s like, I know I can do better… (stop it, stop it, mind!!) But I do have the Ragnar Relay coming up next month (that’ll be a whole new experience!! Some people dropped out of my brother-in-law’s team so Nate and I jumped on board!!) and I definitely want to do Top of Utah half marathon in August. So guess I better keep running.

Why do people run marathons? Why do I???

I was telling my mom this last night. Maybe I won’t tell the whole internet every gory detail of my messed up history. But I will say this: from age 14-20 I had a horrible, horrible relationship with my body. I hated it. I compared myself to EVERYONE. I was borderline completely mental about it. I did terrible things (I don’t know why I can’t come out and say it, maybe someday) to try to be” skinny.” Then I started running with my mom at age 20. I had never been a runner. We pushed further and further. I started training for my first marathon. When I ran 10 miles for the first time I was like WOW!!!!!! I had never felt so good. I had NO IDEA my body could DO that!!!!

You see, I stopped focusing on what my body looked like and I started seeing what my body could DO.

And that changed everything. EVERYTHING.

My whole relationship with my body completely changed. My body was amazing because of what it could DO. What it was capable of. It wasn’t something to hate, it was something to be proud of, and not because I achieved the body I wanted because honestly not much changed on the outside. But everything changed on the inside. I was finally free of my own worst enemy, me, and no longer had any desire whatsoever to continue on the destructive path I was on. It honestly completely healed me and I did not look back.  I don’t want to leave God out, because God and prayer had a LOT to do with it. I had pleaded with him many, many times, asking him to rid me of my problem. I didn’t know why he couldn’t just take it away, why I couldn’t just stop. And now I know that I had to be a part of my own healing process. He doesn’t do everything. My mom couldn’t take it away. Nate couldn’t take it away. I had to. And running was the catalyst.

So that’s why I run. Because it gives me a sense of amazement at what our physical bodies can do. It makes me feel alive and grateful. And while I don’t NEED to run, it’s not an obsession or anything, I still get a rush from it and I think about where I came from every time. And I think, I am capable! Of 26.2 miles! Even if it takes me over 5 hours!!

Hey I still got a medal AND a shirt… AND a tan, so there you go.