Dear Jenna

Dear Jenna,

You started school today. I thought it would be fun to give you breakfast in bed, and as I looked at you at that moment I knew I would cry today.

Well what do you know this morning felt rushed and when we got to the school we had barely missed the teacher walking your class in. We walked in and daddy and I bustled you in your class and walking away I realized I didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye and good luck and that I love you. Then I cried.

Sometimes I feel like you get left out of the blogging world a little because well, you aren’t experiencing milestones like walking, you don’t spill a whole bag of cereal in the pantry just about every day or wreak havoc in general, and so I am going to spotlight your quiet goodness right now. I just want to let you know Jenna how much I love you. Your mommy loves you LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS. You are my little angel girl.

Everyone says you look just like me, although you have these humungous gorgeous blue eyes (not from me!) and cute little freckles across your nose (you can thank your daddy for that fair skin). I love looking at you knowing I am watching a sort of version of myself.

Jenna you made me a mother. At 12 weeks pregnant I went to the Emergency Room and Jenna I thought I might lose you. I was terrified and didn’t know what was going on. Some of the placenta tore and I bled for the next couple months, but you were okay. You were the only pregnancy I had difficulties with and you were my hardest labor and delivery BY FAR. I was so worried that because I felt like I had been run over by a freight train when I finally pushed you out I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my first moments with you. But there you were, breathtakingly perfect, and from the moment I laid eyes on your little scrunched up face I fell completely in love. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the universe made sense the moment I became a mother. The moment I held you.

You have such a good head on your shoulders. You are only 5 and that blows my mind because you are so smart, you are such a good sister, a good helper, and you are so compassionate. There are times you can calm your younger siblings and make them happy when I can’t. You have stopped Logan mid-tantrum because you knew just what to do to distract him. That is pretty much a super power these days.

You have a great imagination and love pretending things with Carter. You two make me smile. You’re as close as twins sometimes. When I signed Carter up for preschool the first thing he asked me is if you were going with him. He thinks the world of you. You two can be so silly and you make me laugh. I am so glad you and Carter are such good friends. The other day you were invited to a birthday party and Carter felt so sad he didn’t get to go with you and you asked if I could please call Dawson’s mom and ask if Carter could go, too. Then when you came home with a treat bag I knew you would share with your siblings without even thinking about it.

You are a little mommy. You help me get the little kids ready when I am in a hurry. A couple times you’ve gotten Logan completely dressed for church. Seriously, you are only 5??? I think you are a lot like me, I was the oldest child too, and I heard all the time what a good girl I was, that I was the perfect child. I definitely could say you are the perfect child too, Jenna, but I don’t want you to think you always have to be perfect. It is a lot of pressure, believe me, I know. I want you to know it is okay to make mistakes, getting in trouble once in a while is not the end of the world, and you do not have to make everyone happy or like you all the time. Don’t be afraid to just be you. You definitely can be timid, self-conscious, and shy and you need an initial push before you jump into things sometimes (just like your mama) but that is okay. However, you make friends so easily and everywhere you go you tell me, “I met a new friend!” Don’t ever lose that talent for approaching people, or that self -confidence… it gets harder as you get older!

You have such a kind heart. You have had potato bugs, dragonflies, grasshoppers, worms, caterpillars, ladybugs, and even a frog all take residence in your room. You have this need to take care of things. I love your genuine, good heart. You feel for others and are very sensitive when others are hurting. You are the sweetest spirit and you bring me such joy. I love you so much, special girl. I’m so blessed to have you for my daughter. I pray we will always be close.

I love you Jenna,


Mom